Happy Anniversary! Looking back at our first year in our new home
It’s been one year this week since Cane, our kids, and I moved together into the house that’s become our home.
Time is always such a slippery thing. It feels as if the year has flown by—as if the time since then has moved so quickly—but when I think back to individual moments, they feel far away.
As I repeated often to myself when my children were toddlers, the days are long but the years are short.
I remember longing to feel settled, to feel all moved in, to feel done with the enormous task of moving our lives.
I should have known that the shirt Will wore on that long, hot moving day told the real truth about it all.
There is no place where we arrive, no single day in which we are all we are all settled in, we are all grown up, everything is OK forever.
There are only moments of it.
And then we move on to the next challenge, the next hurdle, the next new thing.
As I looked back through all the many photos we’ve taken in the past year (thank you, blogging and blog readers, for being the thing that compels me to chronicle our life), I can see that most of the moments (of both kind) were small ones.
This house did not become our home on the day one year ago that we moved our things into it—or even after the things were unpacked from their boxes.
And we did not become a family on the night we first slept under the same roof.
Looking back, I cannot tell you exactly when the house truly became home…
…or when we began to feel like more than roommates.
Somehow, though, in the alchemy of the everyday, both things happened in the past year.
It was not an easy year.
We’ve gotten past expecting it to be easy.
We aren’t the Bradys.
And the home we moved into needed as much time, effort, and love as our family.
There’s still much we want to improve, but when we look back over the bridge of days that held us from last August to this one, we’re amazed at how far we’ve come.
We’re so grateful for all we’ve been given, and we look forward to seeing what blooms in the coming year.
We hope you do, too.
Aug 03, 2012 @ 05:51:02
“There is no place where we arrive, no single day in which we are all we are all settled in, we are all grown up, everything is OK forever.”
I don’t usually comment but this really resonates with me. For years I labored under the delusion that Some Day I’d find an organizational system that worked for our lives, get our house in perfect shape, lose 30lbs, have the perfect wardrobe, etc. etc. and life would be “finished”. Finally I realized that things don’t work that way. Life is a process. So when I have to declutter the house several times a week and reorganize the toys every month it’s not a sign of failure on my part. Now I can enjoy the journey without waiting for everything to perfect.
Aug 03, 2012 @ 18:10:56
You do a wonderful job of chronicling (is that the right spelling?) your life as a family but with the individuality of each person in the family shining through. I think the image of you in this post is a marvellous one
Aug 04, 2012 @ 21:58:24
Thanks, Sharon. And the spelling is good enough for me!
Aug 06, 2012 @ 08:41:43
Beautiful post, beautiful family, beautiful home.
No such thing as finishing….it’s all about the NOW.
LOVE that you’re letting us in your world.
Aug 07, 2012 @ 06:52:18
Back at ya, Mamaholt.
Aug 06, 2012 @ 10:40:39
This is so great, Rita! I love the journey of home and family. The longer I blog (only months still) the more I appreciate it being documentation of our life … such a fun way to look back on things, because time truly does fly!!
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Aug 07, 2012 @ 06:56:13
Me, too Karah. I love being able to look back at old posts and be reminded of where we used to be. More than that, though, I love how writing helps me live more fully in the day I’m in. Writing for others requires me to look, listen, think, and feel more deeply than I otherwise might.
Aug 07, 2012 @ 04:22:07
Oh Rita – your story really touches me! You are so brave to make this leap of combining families – I really admire you both for taking that chance of going through possible difficulty to build something even better for your kids. Your home really reflects the warmth and good intention of your efforts. It looks great and you have come so far in a year! I am so happy you are chronically this – I am enjoying your blog very much and someday your kids will really appreciate looking back on your journey!
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Aug 07, 2012 @ 07:04:13
Thanks for taking the time to tell me this. It’s nice to feel others cheering us on. When my marriage ended, I thought I’d never join my household/family with someone else until my kids were grown. When I married their dad, he had children from a previous marriage–so I know from painful experience how challenging it can be (and I didn’t even have children of my own to bring to the mix!) I’m so glad I was able to move past that and take this leap with Cane. My life isn’t always easier than it used to be, but it’s certainly richer.
Aug 08, 2012 @ 12:40:16
It’s so special to watch you chronicle your life through this blog. And, well I’ve already shared with you my opinion of the Brady Bunch! But you and Cane make it look easy, if not enjoyable. That is a direct reflection on the kind of parents you both are. Look forward to reading about many more years!!!
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Aug 08, 2012 @ 13:05:14
Thanks, Jaye. It isn’t really easy much of the time, but our life together does bring us lots of joy. We’ve both learned that happiness doesn’t just happen. Gotta work for it!
Aug 17, 2012 @ 16:47:17
What a beautiful home! “Home” is really more than a place – it’s a feeling of safety and comfort that comes from being surrounded by family.
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Aug 18, 2012 @ 06:55:39
Thanks, Lindsay. Couldn’t agree with you more.